I have been spending the last two days on BabyCentre and realized that I need to sort my life out. My parents think I am still living with them because I go there everyday for 3-4 hours, I have not sorted anything out with my boyfriend. Corbynne's father thinks that everything is okay and quit frankly it's not. My baby is due in a few months and I need to sort out my living arrangements. There are so many things a person wants to vent about but how do I do that. I certainly can't do it on my blog. Corbynne's dad always had paranoia about a person's private life's details getting out and a person being recognized on the internet. It's always been quit exhausting. Even Blackberry Messenger, a person's status and picture always had him going off if it's too personal, yet I only have 5 contacts so what does it matter. To me a blog is a personal thing and the people that read it either relates or finds your life interesting. How am I going to get people to read my blog if all I talk about is the weather? I even contemplated not adding Google+ because people will see who I am. It's insane! I've kept my mouth shut because I am pregnant and the smallest little thing makes me explode and get into a state and it isn't good for my baby or myself but no more. I am opening my mouth today. I want to share my life with people who care! I want to reach out to people since it is not happening in my house. My life outside of reality is what is keeping me sane at this stage. I am unemployed, pregnant with my 2nd child and living in conditions I am not ungrateful for but it wasn't my dream to live like this. I need everybody to back off and let me be because I am utterly unhappy. I've been spending my days on BabyCentre now and it's a relief to know that I am not the only person with life issues.
All my life has consisted of is watching series and visiting my parents 3-4 hours a day and wasting R50 petrol a day. At some or other stage something's got to give and by the time the baby is here my life better be sorted out.
A lot of women have journals on the internet that really touches a person. I read one now http://www.babycenter.com/0_anna-clara-and-me-week-9-facing-the-demon_1496483.bc#comments. We aren't living in a world where you act superior anymore.
I don't think anybody in my life understands the mountain I do carry on my shoulders. Being a mom is hard, being a fulltime mom is even harder because there is no one else to blame if anything goes wrong. Corbynne's dad has always been nonchalant and says that kids don't care how we are living and there are many people living worse than we are but does that make it right? I constantly thrive for better and I want everything to be perfect. I don't want to take my baby out of the hospital and introduce him to our self built Wendy house. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head since my parents are the way they are but this isn't what I need. With time things will get better yes but let's face it Corbynne's dad drags his feet with everything and the poorer we can live the more money he assumes we have. I wasn't raised like this and this isn't my preference and it feels like I am being punished but I can't dare to tell him that.
A lot of women have journals on the internet that really touches a person. I read one now http://www.babycenter.com/0_anna-clara-and-me-week-9-facing-the-demon_1496483.bc#comments. We aren't living in a world where you act superior anymore.
I don't think anybody in my life understands the mountain I do carry on my shoulders. Being a mom is hard, being a fulltime mom is even harder because there is no one else to blame if anything goes wrong. Corbynne's dad has always been nonchalant and says that kids don't care how we are living and there are many people living worse than we are but does that make it right? I constantly thrive for better and I want everything to be perfect. I don't want to take my baby out of the hospital and introduce him to our self built Wendy house. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head since my parents are the way they are but this isn't what I need. With time things will get better yes but let's face it Corbynne's dad drags his feet with everything and the poorer we can live the more money he assumes we have. I wasn't raised like this and this isn't my preference and it feels like I am being punished but I can't dare to tell him that.
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